Thursday, October 7, 2010

Two Pill Days

RSD is like having a parasite.  It's in me, part of me, and I have no control over it.  I have pain every day to varying degrees.  Some days I'm able to play my guitar in a modified postion or play video games to escape, and then there are days like yesterday and today.  I call them two pill days.
Imagine that when you're sleeping you dream of being hurt badly and it's not enough to wake you up.  One of your limbs is being mutilated.  And when you finally do wake up it's into a nightmare reality that you're actually experiencing all the pain from the dream.  Sometimes I wake up shaking like I'm having a seizure, other days I'll wake up screaming, and still other days I simply open my eyes and accept what's going on.
When I wake up with severe pain it's almost always guarenteed to escalate unless I take a heavy narcotic and try to isolate my leg.  I call them two pill days because I usually end up taking one pill around this time and another around 6 hours later.  Sadly it seems that the narcotics aren't working very well anymore and there are no other forms of pain medication available in my area.
If I moved to California I could make use of medicinal marijuana.  Moving would require me to give up the incredible medical team I have pulling for me at the Milwaukee VA.  I'm still not sold that the move for a secondary medicine is worth the gamble of ending up with a terrifying team of incompetant, uncaring doctors...

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