The Times I Disappear

Some times I just need to disappear for a while.  The pain overwhelms my desire to perform and I can no longer ignore it.  I tend to withdraw from everything and try to find a center; build a new point from which I can be strong again.  It's hard to smile when you hurt, type a few sentences, or simply have a conversation.
When I get this way everything comes out angry.  My best intentions dissolve and I feel like lashing out at everyone.
Over the past few days I've been trying to rebuild and work through one of those times I disappear.
On Monday I had appointments at the Milwaukee VA medical center.  If you're a disabled veteran reading this, and it's not too far of a haul to get there, do yourself a favor and make that your new home.  There's a feeling I get when I go there; every veteran and civilian is there to help each other.  You don't get that warm fuzzy at the North Chicago center.  Hell, you don't get much out of North Chicago.
The appointments went well and I'm excited to announce that in the very near future I will have a seating apparatus that will give me the ability to shower daily!  The lady we met from occupational therapy was very energetic about being able to help me get back to being able to do a few things again.  My primary care put me on an antihistamine which was supposed to amplify the effects of my narcotic.  I'm going to say that it's working.  Every time I've taken them together I feel like I've been hit by a truck.  Lastly, my pain psychologist is getting us hooked up to try bio-feedback.  Maybe that will be the cure.  I'd rather doubt it though.
I met yesterday with the veterans' representative from unemployment.  He's going to 'try' to find me a job I can fill from home on the couch, but he didn't seem overly confident.  I'm not sure what a job on my couch would look like.  On top of that he offered to help get me a better cane, and to make a few phone calls to try to get my music out.  If I could song write for a living I'd be very excited.
During the appointment I received a phone call from Senator Durbin's office.  They actually asked for specifics concerning the legislation I've asked to be put in place.  I'm not sure if it will get past that point, but at least they called.  One phone call back out of some 30 or so emails and calls...  At least they called...
Sorry for the long post everyone, and I'll do my best to post daily.