I was up all night last night. The pain was excruciating, and it took all my strength to not cry out and wake up my wife and child. This morning it's a little better, but not by much. Today is the day that I'm to be interviewed by a reporter. Maybe God wants me to do this in the hospital? If things keep going the way they are, that's where we'll be.
This interview is like a first day of triumph; a small dent in ignorance and gross mistreatment. If I can reach just one person with this article, and help them understand what people with RSD go through, I will have succeeded. Because it only takes one person to change the future of our veterans. One phone call, one letter. One. Because if one person does it, I know there will be others, others that will add to the one voice.
I'm going to take my meds and work on some poetry. Writing has been a fantastic coping mechanism. I've lost a bit of my urge to game, and have found that it isn't helping as much in regards to my pain management. I just haven't been able to get myself immersed enough. Immersed, and away from this daily nightmare.
I'm really having a bad time. It's hard to admit it, but I'm worn thin. This isn't a plea for help, I'm not going to kill myself (I have no urge to do so), but I feel like simply sleeping my days away. Except, I can't sleep...
It's good that I can't sleep. Today is the first day...
It has been a long rough road for you. I think it is finally turning in the right direction. Hard to fight when you are in never ending pain. But I know you and you will fight. You will fight for yourself, your family and all the other veterans out there. Hang in there. We love and support you. Someone will listen. That someone already has. :)
ReplyDeleteKeep your chin up partner. You will pull through this. One day they will hear you loud and clear and one day things will change. Hopefully sooner than later. I also think that one day you will be healed, I pray for that day every day for you!
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