Lacking Tools

  I was going to do a follow-up post about my appointment last night.  Amy beat me to it.  If you all don't mind taking a minute to click a link and read about it there, I'll fill you in on some of my views when you get back... (You may also want to follow her blog because she often has entries from a different perspective)

Amy's Blog


  I was privy to some profound outlooks on my disability by my Primary Care doctor.  The most profound was that he didn't believe RSDS/CRPS pain was worse than natural child birth or cancer.  It's been reported, consistently, by people who have had two of the three, but he doesn't agree with the reported findings.  Second, possibly tied with the first statement, was that it 'may be time to seek treatment somewhere else.'  This is a service connected disability, and he's the second medical professional to tell me I may want to look into getting treatment outside the VA....

  Mind you, that this conversation was taking place while I was on the verge of blacking out from my pain and mildly dribbling urine into my pants.  The appointment ended with a prescription for Fentanyl, and the feeling that all the evidence wasn't going to be included in the doctor's notes...

  That's a big kick in the chops, because the VA won't award me benefits due to the lack of solid notation by my doctors...

  So, I'm home, mildly stoned from the high concentration of narcotic (Fentanyl is more powerful than morphine), and trying to organize my thoughts into some form of attack plan for the rest of my day.  God willing, I'll get something done today!  ;)

Thank you all for taking the time to read.
You're appreciated,

Kev

6 Million Dollar Me

  One of the methods of controlling RSD pain is with a spinal chord stimulator.  It's a device that's a little bigger than a tic-tac box that pumps an electric current through the sympathetic nervous system.  The theory behind it is that it will disrupt, and distract, the brains ability to focus on the pain.
  At my RSD support group last Sunday I met a woman who had one and it had given her the ability to go back to work as a teacher.  Her RSD was in her arm and hand, but the device was working exactly as it was supposed to.
  My implant doesn't work.  I have all the tingly fun of an implant with all the pain mixed in.  On Monday I met with one of the representatives from Medtronics, the company that made my implant, in the hope that there would be some adjustment that could be made to increase its efficiency.  So now my implant turns on and off, all on it's own, and still doesn't work.  There's nothing worse than having something jolt you while you're busy holding your breath trying to fight through massive amounts of pain.
  This morning I woke up in such a bad state that I couldn't remember the specifics of events that went down over the last week or so.  General concepts were still there, I remember having made a phone call or going to the hospital, but names, faces, and specific topics discussed are all gone.
  There was a funny process that happened then.  First I was scared, then angry, then just depressed.  Now it's still a bit scary, I still don't have any of those memories back, but it's kind of funny.  I always wondered what it would be like to wake up and forget everything that had been happening.  I have a morbid understanding of what that would be like now.  I'm not sure I'm looking forward to the next occurrence though...
  Tonight I'm going to try and work with my bionic implants, and perhaps tomorrow I'll wake up as the next Lee Majors...

Memory Loss

So I'm sitting here trying to figure out what went wrong for the blog chat, and now I'm realizing that it isn't happening until tomorrow...
The worse thing about pain is how it destroys your memory capacity.  Some times it's so overwhelming you get dates, days, times, names, everything mixed up.  The event invitation is for today, but on Kaps Blog it states it will be tomorrow, Tuesday...
For everyone that showed up today, I apologize for the mix up.  Had I been more focused, and in better working capacity, I may have caught this sooner and got it rectified.  Seems most of my days are 'hind site' kinds of days lately.
I hope those of you reading will take the time out of your schedules to participate tomorrow.  And in the mean time feel free to post up any questions or remarks here.  It's always nice to have a dialogue about my experiences.